I am the eldest sister to my two brothers. The youngest brother being a special child. He is an autistic child, mostly dependent on us for various things. Though by God’s grace he does not have the highest degree of autism and still is very much capable of doing some usual necessary things on a daily basis.
He can get up out of the bed in the morning, brush his teeth, eat food, can manage to take a bath, wear clothes on his own(and is very much choosy in that area! Very!!) and various other things.
Although to eat he needs to be served, to take a bath he needs us to check the water’s temperature first, since he had a bad experience with extremely hot water once, he needs our support sometimes while walking or climbing stairs and many other things.
He manages everything while having occasional outbursts and tough times for him as well as for us.
Although lately he has developed another habit, which we are trying hard to get rid of. He tears every paper he lays his eyes on, into numerous little pieces, one by one. Daily newspapers, sometimes even the unread ones, important memos, diaries, notes, every possible thing! No matter how soft or how harsh way we try on him, we would always find tiny hundreds of torn out paper pieces peeping through every drawer, books(with only the hardcover left with the whole content in tiny pieces lying inside them) and every possible place he thinks is hidden from us. It is annoying, it is frustrating.
But today I got a chance of actually learning to look at it differently or say it actually taught me to look at everything else differently, while in the middle of a little “mutual induction” situation at home.
Now you must be wondering “Mutual induction situation?”
Yeah, mutual induction!
What is basically a mutual induction?
” The production of an electromotive force in a circuit resulting from a change of current in a neighbouring circuit.”
Now that is an electrical phenomena, but let’s see it in a other way.
You had a fight with your friend, you come home all fumed up with anger and frustration. At home your mother have prepared family’s favourite dessert, your father had just returned from an outdoor tour and everyone at home is looking forward to having a good family time. You enters home still submerged in your frustration. And every inch of you is angry and in disgust which is visible to every eye. But somehow your parents tries to lighten you up, your sister tries to tease you so that you’d smile. But BOOM! You already have too much problems to handle than laugh at her silly jokes or sit and spend a good time with your family. And one by one your frustration, stress, annoyance, depression is being reflected on each one sitting at the dinner table. And the to-be good family time becomes a stressful time for everyone.
“The production of stressful force in everyone else resulting from a changing negative force in you.”
So sitting there disgusted at the way things turned out entirely opposite to what was expected, I heard a repeated sound, of newspaper being torn apart. I, immediately again disgusted was about to scold my brother when suddenly a thought crippled up in my mind. Is this, a better way to combat stress? Tearing newspaper is a way he combats his stress(Although he usually do that away from everybody’s sight). At that time, he too was affected by the whole environment, hence he started tearing the nearest newspaper he could lay his hands on.
So I wondered, which is better?
Tearing newspapers or tearing emotions apart?
Making pieces out of a paper or out of our loved one’s minimal expectations?
Like many other times, this time too I felt my brother’s intelligence way above than ours!
Like how he forgets our scoldings or bad behaviour within some moments and laughs, talks and enjoy with us as if nothing happened.
How he puts a pure form of trust on us without a speck of doubt in his mind. How he happily, hardly without any fuss, eat the meal we provide to him. How he trusts our judgement of the water’s temperature while he goes to bath, even after having a terrifying experience with hot water.
How he trusts us that we will not leave his hand while he climbs up the stairs.
Can we forgive others so easily? Can we trust even ourselves with that kind of trust, let alone others!
How often do we trust others judgement of our problems, our sufferings. We just believe that our problems, our sufferings are greater than what others think.
It’s hard for us to shrug off our problems outside the door, to wipe off our stress and anger on the doormat before entering in. It’s hard for us to forget about something that bothers us, for a moment and enjoy the time with our loved ones who looks up to us.
We have got a lot to learn from my brother and many more of others like him.
We love him a lot, but the enormous amount of love and affection that we receive from him is just ineffable. If you are fortunate enough to somehow know an autistic person, you know what exactly I’m talking about. We love him a lot, he’s the apple of our eyes and just about everyone who knows him. He’s just a great source of positivity. I hope to learn myself a lot from him and wish that you too learned a bit today.
Like my sweet little brother, never let that SMILE leave your enlightening face. 🙂
P.S: Though, My family and I, are trying hard to help him to get rid of this “newspaper tearing habit”. If anyone of you have some great (and possibly sure) way to help us improve and understand him better, so that we can help him with this. Please be kind to let me know. I will be very grateful. Thanks in advance! 🙂